When I hang out with someone, the less I talk, the more interesting the other person is.
The new Bond looks like Al Bundy
The women are not as hot.
The music sucked and there were no cool gadgets.
I appreciate my aunt’s taste:
Get the bigger screen
the bigger speakers.
If I had a lot of money, I’d buy a lamp store
and take with me a baseball bat.
I lost my underwear at the beginning of my party.
You’re supposed to lose them at the end.
I asked,” Do you know what time it is?” to get a better look at the face sitting next to me.
The person showed me the time on a cell phone.
And I still hoped my phone would not ring and give me away.
I keep losing umbrellas. I hate it!
So, I was looking for my glasses. Kitchen table, chairs, bed, bathroom counter, top of the t.v...
Is my vision improving? I can see the numbers on the face of the clock. That's pretty cool.
I'm wearing contacts.
After the Vloggies Pre-Party (an awards show for video bloggers), my friend and I were walking down the street. We ran into some people and then another person came along who introduced himself as one of the presenters for the Vloggies. He was in his forties, from England and very lost and very drunk. The other people excused themselves and we tried to connect this person to his destination. Sometimes he wanted to walk, sometimes he wanted a taxi, and whenever we got him a taxi, he wouldn’t take it.
He kept chatting and chatting and asked if we were going to the Vloggies After-Party, tomorrow night. My friend was, but I wasn’t.
“You should go!!!”
“I went to the pre-party. That’s enough.”
“Come. I have a +1. I can get you in.”
“Come-on! I’m begging you!” His hands were clasped and he was starting to kneel. Out here on the urine drenched sidewalks of Market Street San Francisco.
“I’m begging you!!!” He set himself up and I couldn’t help myself.
“On all fours, baby!”
I’m always shocked when people listen to me.
And when he finally got up, I had to be honest, “I’m not shaking your hands after that!”
I like having furniture, but have no interest in it. It never occurred to me that I would eventually have to procure furniture until about two years ago. My old roommate was about to move into her first unfurnished apartment. We both thought acquiring furniture was the most horrible thing. Sort of like grocery shopping.
I had always lived in furnished dorms, co-ops, and apartments. True, it was often makeshift furniture, but it functioned nonetheless. Used a bookcase as a dresser, threw a piece of wood over an end table and called it a desk. Well, I also had to wrap it in a trash bag since it had splinters.
Once, I wanted some extra storage space and copied my friend who put milk crates under his bed. Unfortunately, I did not get the cleanest crates and they started to smell after a couple days. So, then I tried washing them in bleach. I can’t remember if I forgot to rinse or just did not rinse thoroughly. The chemical started to irritate my eyes and I finally gave up on the extra storage space.
So, today I have mimicked my aunt’s taste in furniture: simple, practical, and pine.