chasing cacti

It’s true. My aunt and grandma told me about how it’s a common revenge practice in Hong Kong to unleash snakes in a restaurant. H.K. gangster style.

These establishments seat 3-400 people. The choice hour is lunchtime dim sum, when the restaurant is bustling with business meetings and ladies that lunch.

They would bring in a bag of snakes and let ‘em go. Let them slither around.

It’s only a matter of time before one wraps itself around a leg. Panic. Shrieks.
A bit of frenzy as the customers run out.

The snakes are a warning. The snakes are blackmail.

I visit my friend in San Jose. We’re going to see some bands play in the park, the Music After Dark series.
It turns out to be a parking lot.

After hearing the bands play in the park, I really wanted a real bathroom. So, we head towards the Hilton and pass a convention center along the way. It’s unlocked.

Dim wide corridors turning into painted “RESTROOMS” over three sets of double doors. Pass into an open space for the lines during the day. Water fountains.

I push through the door at “Women” and I stop before the next door. I’m in the space between the two closed doors and I’m scared. It feels like I’ll be hunted if I pass through the threshold. I back up. I don’t want to go in there alone. I want my friend to come in with me. I drag him far enough to peek in. To see the pasty green stalls under dim fluorescent lighting, humming.

And the janitor walks by, shuffling. She’s pasty too. She tells him he can’t be there.

And it feels like the worst and maybe last decision of my life to go in there.

My friend says that hooking up with someone you’re mildly attracted to is like going into a store and buying something on sale just because it’s a really good deal. You don’t need it, but it’s a really good deal.

He says that when you get ‘em home, you don’t want ‘em.

Reading about Mark Jaquith’s new pistol, I’m reminded of how much I want this:

Specifications
Caliber: .22 LR
Capacity: 8 Rounds
Barrel Length: 3"
Front Sight: "Light Gathering" HIVIZ® Green Dot
Rear Sight: Adjustable V-Notch
Firing System: N/A
Grip: Uncle Mike's Combat
Trigger: .312" Smooth Target
Hammer: .240" Semi-Target
External Safety: N/A
Frame: Small
Finish: Clear Cote
Overall length: 7-3/16"
Material: Aluminum Alloy / Stainless Steel
Weight Empty: 11.9 ounces

I love double-action.

I sit between sunshine and shade.

I moved into sun and the shade followed me.

It just sounds wrong, like diapers.

Anyways.
It was more exciting than when I first started to be able to do push-ups.

Safire and I checked out WordCamp and met some awesome people- you know who you are!

Once again, there was never a line.

I hate it when that happens.

Today is the first time in my life that I’ve peeled corn (what is the correct terminology for stripping corn of its leaves?) I never knew there were these stringy things underneath, which must be what gets stuck between my teeth.

My awkwardness reminds me of how inept I am at cooking as well as how much I hate it.

It started in my 2nd yr of college, with my first apartment. I went grocery shopping every 3-4 weeks and ate rice with soy sauce, whatever food came my way, pasta and sandwiches (yes, sandwiches count as cooking, so does cereal. you have to wash dishes afterwards. that’s my definition) (also, apparently, there’s no nutrition in rice with soy sauce). I bought eggs for the first time as a Junior and butter the following year. By the time I bought raw meat, I learned to buy food regularly. I also learned to buy toilet paper on a regular basis and before it runs out.