Resume Objective

Submitted by michelle on Fri, 2006-08-04 17:26.

It’s easy to write an objective for a specific job, but for a more general resume, one for a job fair or to put online, what do you put?
“A challenging position offering personal and professional growth”
It’s so cliché, but what can you really write?
“I enjoy having electricity. Running water is a plus.”
It’s a mystery.

Mercury Retrograde

Submitted by michelle on Thu, 2006-08-03 17:24.

What the fuck is Mercury Retrograde?

a car? must be an SUV
The new 2007 Mercury Retrograde! (dirt flying)
It’s a great name for an SUV.

It’s really some astrology thing with planets and/or other things aligning which results in breaks in communications. Can be phones malfunctioning or people not understanding each other.

In my friend’s context: having to deal with asshole customers.

Tasting Blood

Submitted by michelle on Tue, 2006-08-01 12:40.

I wake up tired. I’m so sleepy, my eyes are tearing.

I’ve been tasting blood inside my mouth for the last two weeks. Went to the doctor yesterday and I have an ulcer behind my front teeth. Everyone else is disgusted, but I am relieved. I was afraid that my acid reflux was acting up and had corroded my throat into a pulpy red mess. That’s the anxiety talking or maybe having too many possibilities for any given situation. Bleeding gums? Receding gum line? The euphemism is imagination. I lean towards curse.

I’m also relieved that I wasn’t completely tripping and imagining the blood. My family thought I might have been paranoid, but no, it’s real. Real!

shirts

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-07-31 19:55.

i am very grateful for catholic school uniforms. i finally found plain white shirts (for job interviews).

no, i did not get any skirts.

once again

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-07-31 19:54.

i wish i was a bi male

women’s clothes

Submitted by michelle on Sun, 2006-07-23 20:56.

it’s so difficult to buy women’s clothes. all i want is a plain white shirt for job interviews. no ruffles, no sequins, just some regular length sleeves that reach my wrists-
but no.

i also don’t like spending money on clothes i hate.
shopping is just annoying in general. it takes up so much time and energy to procure crap you don’t even want, but need.

headache

Submitted by michelle on Wed, 2006-07-19 20:42.

scraping out my eye sockets

Voice Class Recital

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-07-17 20:36.

I finished the recital for my voice class, which is a relief. I sang “House of the Rising Sun” and a duet from the 1920s, “Brown Eyes Why Are You Blue”.

Discount?

Submitted by michelle on Fri, 2006-07-14 19:06.

So, my grandmother likes to feed the pigeons. This act is a health violation in San Francisco. And probably a littering one too.

One day, a police officer walks up to her to give her a fine.

She asks,” Do I get a Senior Discount?”

don’t forget the gift!

Submitted by michelle on Sun, 2006-07-09 19:09.

7.08.06

I was not looking forward to going to my family friend’s son’s wedding. I don’t really like ceremonies. But it worked out because my dad’s friend was paying me to help him with his budget for a film, so I didn’t go to the afternoon ceremony.

I just went to the banquet in the evening. Well, first I went to the wrong banquet because the restaurant had more than one going on. It was too bad. Their party had an open bar.

There were 400 people. I was assigned to the twenty-something table. They had processions, and cheers, and Chinese lion-dancers. They did two dances. In the second one, the lion eats lettuce. Vegetarian. Then they commenced to introduce every single relative, like the fifth removed cousin’s daughter’s son.

My friend, Safire, whom arrived slightly later than myself, wanted to introduce herself to the rest of the table. The first girl quietly said her name. The next people ignored her completely. I looked around and realized,” Oh! They’re saying grace.”

The food was good.

Leaving, I started saying “Good to meet you” to everyone and accidentally also said that to people I knew.