Lunchtime

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-10-23 11:22.

My friend categorizes a 6 p.m. meal as lunch if he hasn't done shit that day.

Pass

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-10-23 11:21.

I feel very comfortable around gay men and geeks because they never hit on me.

smokes

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-10-23 11:20.

You know it’s a geek party when there’s twenty people on the patio and not a single person is smoking.

Fun Size!

Submitted by michelle on Wed, 2006-10-18 14:04.

My friend goes
What if they called “small condoms”, “fun size”?

Bullshit

Submitted by michelle on Wed, 2006-10-18 14:03.

I see through others bullshit. Too bad I also see through my own.

The Gulp

Submitted by michelle on Thu, 2006-10-05 12:01.

He found taking pills to be nerve-racking. He hastily gulped down water to chase the pills and accidentally swallowed his dentures as well.

An Imposter Amongst the Make-believe

Submitted by michelle on Thu, 2006-10-05 12:00.

9.18.06

My aunt and I went to Japantown, which was unusually crowded. Apparently, there was an Anime Fair. The posters listed events including a costume contest

My aunt goes:
You should enter. You have the hair for it. Just go home, change your clothes, and grab your meat cleaver.

But they probably want anime characters. I guess I can make one up...Swedka? Isn’t that the name of a vodka?...Who cares.
Then the judges might want a name for the series. uh...“No Parking on Tuesdays”.
Never heard of it.
It’s underground.

My aunt:
Maybe you’ll win money!

Hopefully. But what if the prize is some doll? That would suck!

Define Yourself

Submitted by michelle on Thu, 2006-10-05 11:57.

I was trying to be friendly and asked, ”What do you do?”
“I’m so-and-so’s girlfriend.”
“I asked ‘What do you do?’ not ‘Who do you do?’”

A Good Start to the Day

Submitted by michelle on Fri, 2006-09-29 09:41.

Some people smile and tell you "Good morning!" in the morning. My grandma smiles and tells you that she took a dump at 7 a.m. sharp.

Stacks, Piles

Submitted by michelle on Mon, 2006-09-18 21:45.

I have all these scraps of papers of things to write, but I just don't feel like it.